So I make my second start against the Red Sox tomorrow. Do you think the fans will boo me? I don't like getting booed. It makes me feel small inside. I just hope Derek doesn't get too jealous if I get booed. Yesterday they booed A-Rod more than him and he looked disgusted. I guess it must be hard when some snot-nosed little twat replaces you as Boston's cult hero after you've held that honor so long. Poor Derek, he must be really upset. You think I should send him some flowers or something? Who wouldn't be cheered up by a nice bouquet of gerberas and sunflowers?
I'm kinda nervous about my start tomorrow - I still can't stop thinking about Jason. Having to sit there in the dugout when I'm not pitching with nothing to do for three hours except watch him is really not helping matters. I hope I won't be too distracted tomorrow when I have to pitch. Plus, I don't think they're scared of me like all those wimpy pathetic National League teams were. It must be because George made me cut my mullet. What am I without my mullet mojo?